


The Matter of Miscommunicating Lies

by Spinestalker



Category: South Park
Genre: 8th grade, M/M, also the rest of them really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 04:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5276285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spinestalker/pseuds/Spinestalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Craig and Tweek’s relationship always developed like a poorly planned RP venture,  with either of them coming up with half-elaborated milestones on the fly, but as soon as Tweek told Stan Marsh they were in an “Open Relationship” he knew this one would come back to bite him on the ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Matter of Miscommunicating Lies

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing a South Park fan fic. This is what my life had become. If only my 14-year-old self could see me now.

5th, 6th, and 7th grade came and went and with the spring months growing warmer and warmer 8th grade was soon to follow. Everything seemed final as the students spent their last weeks in the halls of the school they’d attended for the last 9 years. South Park didn’t have a real middle school, the city hardly having the budget to maintain the oldest most derelict wing of the elementary building for the 7th and 8th-grade students, but come fall they would all be going to a new building a town over where two other school's merged for high school. It added to the buzz of end of the year gossip, intermittently interrupted by panic over final projects and tests and who was going with whom to the 8th grade formal that weekend.

 

In the middle of the overcrowded halls where students lingered before heading to their first class, stood Tweek, unusually still with his eyes glued to the sight of Esther Stoley flirtting with someone else’s boyfriend.

 

Namely, Tweek’s boyfriend, Craig Tucker.

 

And she was flirting, employing new and inventive ways to break dress code. Even at a distance Tweek could make out the edges of the pink frilly bra she wore, her books pushing what cleavage she had high enough to almost pop out of her shirt. Craig towered over her, as he did everyone, so Tweek imagined he had a bird's eye view.

 

He wanted to seethe, wanted to be angry, wanted to storm over drama typical of a resentful teenager. He’d seen it plenty, even acted a few out in drama club, but he didn’t. Instead, he bit his lip and cut through the flow of students to his locker.

 

It wasn’t like he lived in a cave. Craig was tall and attractive and people were always trying to get his attention, but usually anyone who knew he was with Tweek left him alone. Not that it mattered, or should have mattered. They were still riding on the 4th-grade doing-this-to-make-everyone-happy train. They’d agreed years ago when someone else came along they would break up.

 

He finished exchanging books from his locker but dared a glance over his shoulder to where Esther’s breasts monopolized Craig’s attention. Her eyes caught his for a moment and a smirk crossed her pretty face.

 

“Is there a reason Babe and Wendy offered me 10 bucks to come over here and flirt with you?”

 

Tweek jumped as Stan Marsh appeared next to him from the throng of students, leaning against the locker with ankles crossed and thumbs hooked in his pocket. The picture of cool, the middle school quarterback was lean, attractive, and popular. 

 

And Craig hated him.

 

“Gah! They’re just being nosy. You took the money, right?”

 

“Pft, yeah. My allowance was cut for my grades and the new COD is coming out.” Stan rolled his eyes, “We still on for lunch?”

 

“Yeah, I got the legos and craft stuff. Just need to get the plastic safe glue from-”

 

“Is this about that?” Stan interrupted.

 

Unable to help himself, Tweek looked back, this time to see Craig's head bowed low to hear what Esther was saying.

 

“Like I said, they’re just being nosy. It’s not a big deal.”

 

“Dude, she’s flirting with your boyfriend.”

 

“She’s actually trying to steal him, according to Babe? Gah- Half the cheerleading team showed up at my house last night for an _intervention_.”

 

“And...?” Stan looked flabbergasted, “You're just letting her? He’s letting her? What a creep.”

 

“It’s not like that,” Tweek tried to explain, “It’s... ah!- complicated.”

 

"Complicated..." Stan repeated before snapping straight, his blue eyes wide. “You mean like going to break up complicated. Are you guys...?”

 

“Gah - I don’t know. It’s more like Facebook complicated. We agreed a while ago to -uh- see other people if we wanted.”

 

Tweek didn’t mean it like that but it was already out and he wasn’t sure how to back track. Besides, it was kind of true, even if not so simple. If Craig wanted to pursue a relationship with Esther then Tweek could do nothing about it but wait for Craig to officially call it off.

 

No matter how much even the thought of breaking up made Tweek want to throw up his breakfast.

 

“You mean like... open relationship? Where you can... date other people?”

 

“I ah...” Tweek hugged his math book close, “It’s complicated but kind of.”

 

“I gotta go,” Stan blurted out before disappearing back into the crowd, leaving Tweek blinking in confusion, the vague feeling he would regret this whole conversation.

 

The urge to glance over his shoulder burned, but he focused making sure his homework was in the appropriate folders.

 

“Hey, I didn’t see you come in,” came Craig's voice, startling him to almost drop his folder, but Craig was quick enough to catch the stray paper that almost escaped.

 

“Ah! Oh, uh, yeah, I saw you with gah! - whatshername and I didn’t wanna bother you,” he blurted as Craig handed him his homework.

 

“It’s not a big deal,” was all he said before quickly pressing his lips to Tweek's. They were warm and soft, a far cry from Tweek’s gnawed ones, but the pressure was firm and comfortable and lingered longer than his usual peck. All of Tweek’s tension moved to his chest in a pleasant ache that left him dazed. When Craig pulled back his finger started working to fix the crooked buttons of Tweek's shirt. Their “fake” relationship had taken a not so fake step when in the 6th grade everyone declared Wendy and Stan as the school’s perfect couple. Craig took it as a personal insult and turned them into a cutesy PDA couple, which was fine because adults were more likely to give them money than admonish them for it. Tweek liked the affection whether it was public or not, and appreciated Craig's patients with Tweek's quirks.

 

To no one’s surprise, they won the Cutest Couple superlative for the yearbook.

 

So they held hands, kissed, cuddled, even half made out when bored, but the“when someone else” clause hung on the horizon like a storm and “when” had never seemed so close.

 

“Good luck on your English test,” Tweek offered.  

 

“Thanks. I’ll need it. See you at lunch?” 

 

“Only for a few. I got a thing with Stan.”

 

Craig wrinkled his nose because he really did hate Stan, but Tweek only laughed.

 

* * *

 

 

“Dude.” Stan threw himself into the seat in front of Kyle, nearly knocking off the study sheets he was working on, which caused Kyle to bark an annoyed “Dude” in response.

 

“Oh my fuck, Dude, Kyle. I was just talking to Tweek,” he interrupted himself to point at Wendy, “You owe me 10 bucks, by the way.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Yeah okay, I’ll give it to you later, but class starts in 5 minutes and this isn’t your homeroom.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, but this is big. Like epic.” Stan turned back to Kyle, “Tweek. And Craig. Are in. An open. Relationship.”

 

Even though Stan said each word with weight, Kyle was still lost in the Algebra notes he was trying to organize, staring at his best friend in confusion. He was about to ask why this mattered so much when Wendy nearly fell out of her chair to get closer.

 

“What? No way! I mean. I don’t care about anything but...” She glanced around as if paranoid someone might have caught her gossip-mongering. “Seriously. Craig and Tweek? No way. They have been the school’s ‘it’ couple for years.”

 

“You know what this means, right?” Stan asked Kyle, who very suddenly did know exactly what it meant.

 

He knew this would bite him in the ass one day.

 

“No.”

 

“But, Kyle...”

 

“Stan, no.”

 

“This could be it!”

 

“An open relationship means they are still together -”

 

“But seeing other people - “

 

“You’re not thinking...?” Wendy asked Stan, who only smiled at her in unmitigated joy.

 

“Stan, no just. If they ever break up, maybe...” Kyle tried to reason, but Stan would have none of it.

 

“If you’re in an open relationship it means you aren’t serious about each other and are just looking around without wanting to be single,” Stan stated.

 

“I think that’s an oversimplification. Maybe it just means they’re into threesomes.”

 

”You really think Tweek and Craig are into threesomes?”

 

Kyle shrugged, because no, he didn’t, but he wanted Stan to drop it.

 

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not my thing. No matter how I might feel, I’m just not interested in being the other guy. Besides, Mrs. Blanketsmith is going to be in here in a few minutes and you really can't afford any more tardies from your homeroom.”

 

“Fine fine,” Stan said, lifting his hands defensively as he stood, “I’m just saying this could be your chance to steal Tweek for yourself.”

 

Kyle rolled his eyes at Stan’s back, the first bell only just ringing after he left. Wendy looked like she wanted to say more, but the appearance of Tweek had her bite her tongue. Fortunately, the teacher appeared just as the tardy bell rang, and Wendy knew better then to pass notes under Mrs. Blanketsmith’s nose after she’d read one of her post break up notes to Stan to the whole class. Still, he doubted the subject would be dropped, and he had till the end of 1st period to figure something out.

 

Kyle knew he should have said he had a crush on Craig; Stan would have never sanctioned that.

 

* * *

 

Since Craig had gotten his braces last fall, he hadn’t really been willing to smile a lot, and since he’d gotten them tightened last Friday, his mouth ached, leaving him irritable and unwilling to humor small talk. Tweek grabbing his lunch and leaving with a quick “ later” kiss gave him some amount of hope for a quiet lunch. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend lunch with Tweek, but he didn’t want to snap in his irritated mood. Despite what people thought, Tweek wasn’t a pushover and would quickly bite back, inevitably leaving them huffing at each other for the rest of the day. Fighting was always exhausting because half the school thought they had to mitigate, regardless of the fact they were usually over it by the end of school all on their own.

 

Unfortunately, he wasn’t going be given the peace he’d wished for. He knew something was wrong the moment Clyde sat down in the seat usually taken by Tweek, Token and Jimmy taking the places directly across. To make him even more nervous, no one followed, the rest of the crew that usually sat with them was several tables away, shooting them poorly hidden glances.

 

“H-hey, Craig,” Jimmy greeted, “What-What’s up?”

 

“Not much.”

 

“Are you and Tweek okay?” Clyde burst out, his eyes wide with fear. Unsure of what he meant Craig blinked at his friend for far longer than necessary to form an answer.

 

“It’s just,” Clyde started, but exhaled the aborted sentence, giving the other two a desperate look, but Token shook his head hard.  
  


“Tweek told Stan- Stan Marsh you two were in an o- open relationship,” Jimmy finished for him “Is that true?”

 

“Kind of,” he said instantly though this was the first he’d heard about it. Through the span of their relationship this was a common theme; one of them would say something about their relationship and the news would reach the other before they’d had a chance to talk about it. They’d both learned quickly to just agree and let everyone think whatever. In 6th grade he'd succumbed to a spontaneous urge to show up Marsh, who couldn’t kiss his girlfriend without puking on her, and told everyone that he and Tweek made out all the time. They hadn’t, of course, but news reached Tweek fast enough that when they next saw each other Tweek planted a kiss on Craig’s lips.

 

Their first kiss had been in front of a crowded lunch room amongst echos of “aww”s and “ew, get a room”s.

 

Later that evening Craig had shoved his tongue down Tweek’s throat because, fuck it, if they were going to be boyfriends they were going to kiss properly. They hadn’t been fake dating since the moment Tweek took Craig's hand to walk down Main street before playing video games and ignoring the crazy people pressing their noses against the window.

 

At the start of 8th grade, during what must have been the most been the most boring study hall ever, Tweek’s group had started playing _Have You Ever_ with fingers and shots of self-humiliation instead of alcohol. When Heidi, who had probably only wanted to slut shame Babe, had declared that no, she had never had sex, Tweek had lowered a finger.

 

The news reached him before the period has even ended by way of Clyde’s “dude, why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“We’ve been together forever,” he’d shrugged, “are you really surprised?”

 

Later, hiding his mortification with his mother’s frilly throw pillows, Tweek had admitted he panicked and caved to peer pressure.

 

“ Everyone just looked at me expectantly. Oh God, what if this gets back to our parents?”

 

It did get back to their parents, and Craig had 5 unopened packages of condoms and lube in his closet courtesy of his dad and Tweek had been made to watch a video of safe gay sex with his parents. They hadn’t had sex, but the everyone thought they had, which was more points for them, really. Not only did it ensure their parents always knocked, they’d gotten half a day out of school when they’d done the superlative photoshoot.

 

So Tweek had decided they were in an Open Relationship for whatever reason, and Craig wasn’t in a position to disagree, but he did wonder why he’d told Stan Marsh of all people.

 

He realized his friends still hadn’t responded, too busy exchanging wide-eyed head tilts until Token admitted defeat to the silent battle with a long sigh.

 

“We just want to make sure you’re ok? We just didn’t know, and I mean it’s kinda a big deal. How long have you guys been.. open.”

 

“A little while,” he replied with a shrug.

 

“You aren't breaking up are you?” Clyde asked with eyes rimmed red and cheeks blotchy.

 

“What’s it matter? People break up all the time.”

 

“You guys have been together since 4th fucking grade!”

 

Craig rolled his eyes. Clyde, who was his closest platonic friend, had always been way too invested in them, probably more so than they were, as underscored by the fact they made up details on the fly. They’d already agreed a while ago they’d break up when someone else came along. Maybe Tweek wanted to test the waters from the safety of a relationship. When Craig didn’t give him the response he wanted, Clyde threw up his arms and pointed at Token.

 

“I told you it was a bad idea. I told you we should have rallied against it.”

 

“What?” Craig asked.

 

“He thinks the Cutest Couple is a cursed title,” Token explained.

 

“It is! Fuck!” Clyde exploded, “They always break up. Every time.”

 

“Probably because they were in 8th grade,” Craig commented.

 

“This is serious, Craig!”

 

“No, it’s not. Besides, it’s our business.”

 

“Fourth grade, Craig.”

 

“I- I don’t know.” Jimmy offered, “It seems like a sound idea. They- they’ve been together for so long, it’s- it’s only natural they’d want to explore more of their sexu- sexu- sexualities.”

 

Craig waved his fork at Jimmy’s point before something horrible occurred to him.

 

“Tweek isn’t... I mean... Disney Princess Stan Marsh?” he asked, trying to reign in his worry. “Isn’t he straight?”

 

“I- I don’t know. They’ve been work- working pretty close on their his- history project.”

 

“I saw Stan came in before homeroom to tell Kyle,” Token told him.

 

If the idea of Tweek and Marsh made his stomach twist in disgust, the thought of Kyle Broflovski with Tweek made panic burn his lungs. Clyde’s look was so serious, it would have been funny had Craig not suddenly realized that, yes, maybe this was a problem.

 

“He’s going to try and steal him," Clyde told him, "You know that.”

 

He did and after Red overheard Stan talking to Kyle last year, the whole school knew. But Kyle hadn’t made a move and Tweek had laughed outright in disbelief when he’d found out insisting that “no way, man.”

 

There was a strange silence in their corner of the lunchroom, their usual group nearby not even bothering to hide the fact they were listening in. Suddenly annoyed, he shook his head.

 

“Look, guys, I appreciate your concern, but let me and Tweek deal with me and Tweek.”

 

“Fine, man,” Clyde said, “but when Broflovski has your boyfriend, don’t say we didn’t warn you.”

 

Craig ignored them, wanting to get back to his lunch, even though his mouth hurt and the idea of Tweek with Broflovski made his stomach twist anxiously.

  
But they had said "when" and Craig supposed it was going to happen eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> With short chapters, maybe 1 or 2 more after this, but this is part of a series so there will be 2 more parts with the boys progressing in age. I apologize for errors; I really need a beta.


End file.
